I hope mine doesn't look like that
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i dont even know how to be here
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
