so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
