we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
