I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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