the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
