Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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