i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You are a genius and a whore.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
