so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
