No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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