I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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