you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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