Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was confusing and full of hummus
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
