how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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