Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
