It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
