were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
