Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
