how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
