The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My vagina is very pro this idea
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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