How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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