Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
