FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
