I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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