Say something about gay babies.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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