Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
