i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
