I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
