i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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