Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He has the fingertips of a God
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