hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cockslap morals
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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