Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just invented taco cereal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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