they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
