he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
