Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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