this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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