the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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