i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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