Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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