That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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