Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
