He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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