if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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