absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
