there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
