paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
