You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
