I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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