he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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