their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
