Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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