i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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