I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
