Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
