Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
