I accidentally burped into my bong.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
