big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
