Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
