i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
