i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
