I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
